You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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