Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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