A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She's not a foreskin expert like you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
