she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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