we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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