Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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