I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
