Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
