Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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