Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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