drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
well you can't waste a boner
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
