my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
