do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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