remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
