out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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