Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
