just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
