Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
