they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
