The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
