She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
