you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Still dying that you shit outside
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
