I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
