i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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