Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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