yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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