I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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