We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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