Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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