Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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