My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
