That reminds me...we need to get swords
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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