I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
