Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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