I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
