I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
