i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
