weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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