Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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