Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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