I am puke
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize