the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize