Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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