do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
