I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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