batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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