There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
