This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so let's talk penis.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize