she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize