SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
