hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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