I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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