not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
