Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
