i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
