I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Found your dick twin last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
