She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
